Q: I’ve been seeing this guy for two months and he hasn’t tried to do more than kiss. All my other relationships moved faster, but I still can’t help wondering: Is it him, or is it me? –G.T., 25
Couple French kissing:
A: As long as you haven’t sent the message that all you want is kissing, it’s definitely him. Why is he holding back? According to my friend Tim, “He doesn’t want to get serious, or he can’t admit that he just wants to be friends.” Another friend, Matt, says, “Could be a religious nut.” My boyfriend Gregg says, “He’s probably nervous. He might be intimidated by her sexual experience and he’s afraid to disappoint her.” One final theory, from my buddy Bob: “Isn’t it obvious? The guy’s gay.”
Or he’s afraid of disease. Pregnancy. Being hurt. He’s seeing someone else. He’s impotent. A virgin. The possibilities are endless. Without more clues, it’s hard to say why he’s holding back; you’ll have to go on a fact-finding mission. Tim suggests the direct approach: Ask, “Do you like me?” Or, you can follow Mark’s advice and make the first move. “If you lunge at him,” he says, “he’ll have some explaining to do if he doesn’t respond.”