Q: I was curious about what it would be like to be tied up. What do you think?
A: A conflict of taste can create “a negative sexual history,” says Joel Block, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Secrets of Better Sex (Parker, 1996). Your boyfriend’s pushing will make you feel guilt, resentment, anger — emotions that are not conducive to good sex — and your lovely, experimental boink life could dry up and disappear. One tactic: talk. What did he love about bondage? What did you hate? Are there modifications (establishing a code word that means “stop” or using easy-off Velcro straps) that would be mutually enjoyable? “It’d be a shame to lose your sense of sexual adventure because one thing didn’t work out,” says Doc Block. So keep experimenting. And ask him to back down about bondage: Unwanted pressure from him will definitely erode trust and intimacy.